Да поспамим още малко ;) - They come in great numbers!

Мне, не е това, което си мислите... за архиви иде реч

Moderator: Moridin

Locked
User avatar
JaimeLannister
Forsaken
Posts: 3103
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 7:31 pm
Location: Лясковец - София

Post by JaimeLannister » Tue Dec 07, 2004 9:57 am

Nice :)
"Основната и крайна цел на живота е смъртта и той винаги я постига." Зигмунд Фройд

"PRESENT IS THE TIME INCLUDING ALL TIMES
EACH SECOND IS ETERNITY AS ETERNITY IS NOW
AND NOW IS FOREVER..."

Курвите идват и си отиват, Star craft остава!

Image

Dilvish the Damned
Paragon
Posts: 642
Joined: Tue May 11, 2004 10:39 am

Той и Тя... отново ;)

Post by Dilvish the Damned » Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:38 am

Е, не, това ме уби! :D :D :D

HER DIARY
Sunday night I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY
Today the Chicago Bulls lost, but at least I got laid.
________________________________________________________

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN....

Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Encourage her,
Believe in her,
Pray with her,
Pray for her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her..........................

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN...

Show up naked... Bring food... Don't block the TV
________________________________________________

How to Make Women and Men Happy

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be :

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
1. Good sex
2. Make nice food
3. Leave him in peace

Learn how to be a Man (TM) !!!

User avatar
termit
Jaghut Tyrant
Posts: 1758
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2004 5:04 pm

Post by termit » Tue Dec 07, 2004 4:14 pm

Server not found / Ненамерен сървър

Мило Ване!

Ако четеш сега тази страница, това означава, че най-сетне ти е свършил
интернета. Не се опитвай да звъниш на нашия доставчик или да бърникаш в
настройките на браузъра.
------------------------------
Трябва да направиш следното:
- Върви в аптеката на ъгъла, купи лекарства за дядо - рецептите са в
антрето, на лавицата под огледалото. Освен това, иди в "копейката" -
вземи 2 пакета 1,5% мляко, кашкавал на резени и кутия чай. От плод-зеленчука до спирката купи 2 кг картофи, половин кило лук и 1 зелка. Запази всички
касови бележки.
- Забравих си мобилния. Звънни на баща си на работа, кажи, че снимките
няма да станат днес. Предай му също, че го моля да вземе прането от
химическото на връщане от работа. Преди да звъннеш пусни програмата с иконка на телефон (на десктопа в горния десен ъгъл) и запиши отговора на татко си във
файл с разширение *.wav.
- Напиши си домашните - туй че имаш само по математика не е повод да го
оставяш за довечера. Страници от учебника - 116, 121 и 118. Внимавай с
трета задача - трябва да съставиш уравнение, а не да докарваш отговора под
задачата (и без туй в него има печатна грешка). На останалите задачи не
са дадени отговори.
- След това си разтреби стаята. Като прибереш всичко, преброй частите
на конструктора в пластмасовата кофа, броя дискове с игри на лавицата,
броя колички в кутията и броя роботчета.
- След това можеш да отвориш браузъра и да напишеш като адрес
http://получените числа, разделени с точки.
- Ще ти се отвори таблицата за управление на акаунтите на нашата
домашна подмрежа. За да получиш достъп до нея, въведи в прозорчето "парола"
отговорите на втора, трета и първа задача от учебника.
- Намери в лявата колонка нашия IP и внимателно въведи в съседното
прозорче /където е "начин на разплащане - с карта"/ двете последни цифри от
всяка касова бележка (от кода, който е най-долу): общо за зеленчуци, чай,
мляко+хляб, сустак, флексалис и билкова настойка. Допълни до края с
нули и натисни бутона "ОК".
- След това можеш да ползваш интернет отново. Ако случайно се обади
ядосан чичко, който твърди, че е "системен администратор" и почне да псува в
слушалката, пусни му записа на отговора на баща ти от файла.

Надявам се, че ще успееш. А аз като се върна довечера, ще ти разкажа
приказка как една малка хакерка със своята група някога разбивала
сървърите на Майкрософт и на арабските терористи.
Целувам те!
Мама
Elves dig rocket launchers.

User avatar
ildalina
Adept
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Feb 29, 2004 9:26 am
Location: Somewhere far beyond
Contact:

Post by ildalina » Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:48 pm

Хахахахах последнотот беше много добро :lol:
Нека сега се насладим на един уникален превод::wink:
http://www.skgt-bg.com/ServicesBureau/d ... eau_en.htm

Ето още малко бисери:
Суходол - Dry Gully
Горна баня - Upper Bath
Красно село - Lovely Village
Симеоново - Simon Village
Княжево - Prince Village
Надлез Надежда - Hope Flyover
Цариградско шосе - Istanbul Highway
Орлов мост - Eagle's Bridge
Връбница - Palm Sunday
Божурище - Peonity
Хаджи Димитър - Dimitrius The Pilgrim
Моста Юнак - Supermen's Bridge
Семинарията - Ecclesiastical College
Дървеница - Bug
Хладилника - The Fridge
Света Троица - Holy Trinity
Стефан Караджа - Stephen The Water-mill Holder
Алея Яворов - Sycamore Alley
powered by bgdev.org

User avatar
Ghibli
Elder God
Posts: 5788
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 11:36 am
Location: not really here

Post by Ghibli » Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:02 am

Свето Преображение ме хвърли в хилеж :)
PICARD: Now, are we progressing, Mister La Forge?
LAFORGE: About like you'd expect, sir.
PICARD: Splendid. Splendid. Carry on.

User avatar
Marfa
Moderator
Posts: 11251
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 10:12 pm
Contact:

Post by Marfa » Wed Dec 08, 2004 9:11 am

Аз си харесах Superman's bridge:P
This octopus! Let's give him boots, send him to North Korea!

Image<-Подробно описание на нещата, които ми образуват нерви :twisted:
Уук.

Dilvish the Damned
Paragon
Posts: 642
Joined: Tue May 11, 2004 10:39 am

Post by Dilvish the Damned » Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:15 pm

Бърз курс по основен китайски

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes... (YOU MUST read them out loud)
---

1) That's not right ......... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harbouring a fugitive?..... Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP..........Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ..............Dum Gai

5) Small Horse ...........Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? ........Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table ........Ai Bang Mai Ni

8) I think you need a face lift .......Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here .....Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet ......Wai Yu Mun Ching?

11) This is a tow away zone .......No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ........Wai Yu Kum Nao?

13) Staying out of sight .........Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile ..... Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive .......Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) You are not very bright. - Yu So Dum

17) I got this for free. - Ai No Pei

18) Please stay a while longer. - Wai Go Nao?

19) They have arrived. - Hia Dei Kum

_______________________

3 Chinese men wanted to become US citizen and "Americanize" themselves. Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu.
Bu named himself "Buck".
Chu name himself "Chuck".
Fu decided to go back to Сhina....

User avatar
Daggerstab
Arcanist
Posts: 860
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 6:31 pm
Contact:

Post by Daggerstab » Fri Dec 10, 2004 3:55 pm

Вероятно (не)бихте желали да видите това:
Topic: Top 10 nai-tupi fatasia koito ste 4eli! (Read 88 times)
Е? В тая тема е разрешено да се плюе!
Ако някой не успее да го отвори поради някаква причина (бан ;-)), мога да приложа лог-а, който в момента си свалям...
Дагърстаб. Точка.

Предупреждение: Имам лошия навик да споря. Освен това страдам от черен хумор и изблици на сарказъм.

User avatar
Roland
Site Admin
Posts: 30165
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 10:36 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Post by Roland » Fri Dec 10, 2004 6:47 pm

Знам я темата, гениална е :) Макар че честно казано с някои определения съм съгласен. Иначе в тоя форум не се банват хора, само се прецакват IP-тата им да не могат да постват...
And you can't dance with a devil on your back...

User avatar
Elayne
Elder God
Posts: 6266
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 9:15 pm

Post by Elayne » Fri Dec 10, 2004 10:54 pm

:) Я вижте тези. Един съученик ми ги прати преди малко. Иначе си намирам претекст да си призная, че днес беше ПРЕКРАСЕН ден и съм щастлива :D :D :D

"Главният герой в повечето стихотворения на Ботев е самият той, освен онези, в които не е. "

"Хаджи Димитър става кръводарител на земята"

"Зловещата робска картина е описана с алитерациите "грът", "прът", "трът"

"Всичко Ботев дължи на семейната си среда. Баща му е учител - потенциален хайдук, майка му - певица. Той става хайдук-певец на българската свобода"

"Физическите характеристики на Славейковите герои са малки и къси"

"Левски - един герой, превърнал се в синоним на дякон. Той виси и стърчи на бесилото"
I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around

Dilvish the Damned
Paragon
Posts: 642
Joined: Tue May 11, 2004 10:39 am

Как да се грижим ПРАВИЛНО за своите дискети

Post by Dilvish the Damned » Fri Dec 10, 2004 11:19 pm

(1) Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.

(2) Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metal shavings can be removed with scouring powder and steel wool. When waxing a diskette, make sure the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to spin faster, resulting in better access time.

(3) Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the drive. "Big" Diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.

(4) Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.

(5) Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a photo copy machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert TWO diskettes into your drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be written onto both disks. A handy tip for more legible backup copies: Keep a container of iron filings at your desk. When you need to make two copies, sprinkle iron filings liberally between the diskettes before inserting them into the drive.

(6) Diskettes should not be removed or inserted from the drive while the red light is on or flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally, the red light remains flashing in what is known as a "hung" or "hooked" state. If your system is hooking, you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed to access the slot.

(7) If your diskette is full and needs more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigourously for two minutes. This will pack the data enough (data compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.

(8) Data access time may be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.

(9) Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.....

(10) You can keep your data fresh by storing disks in the vegetable compartment of your refrigerator. Disks may be frozen, but remember to unthaw by microwaving or briefly immersing in boiling water.

(11) "Little" diskettes must be removed from their box prior to use. These containers are childproof to prevent tampering by unknowledgeable youngsters.

(12) You can recover data from a damaged disk by using the DOS command: FORMAT /U or alternatively by scratching new sector marks on the disk with a nail file.

(13) Diskettes become "hard" with age. It's important to back up your "hard" disks before they become too brittle to use.

(14) Make sure you label your data. Staples are a good way to permanently affix labels to your disks.

User avatar
Ghibli
Elder God
Posts: 5788
Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 11:36 am
Location: not really here

Post by Ghibli » Fri Dec 10, 2004 11:30 pm

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
PICARD: Now, are we progressing, Mister La Forge?
LAFORGE: About like you'd expect, sir.
PICARD: Splendid. Splendid. Carry on.

User avatar
Icy Dawn
Merchant
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2004 8:17 pm
Location: lost in space

Post by Icy Dawn » Fri Dec 10, 2004 11:33 pm

Аууууу, гениално е :lol:
Това тука май не попада в графата "Интелигентни решения за вашия офис" ама не пречи...
"Във физиката броенето е като при дивите племена - едно, две, много..."

User avatar
Demandred
Moderator
Posts: 6266
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:42 am
Contact:

Post by Demandred » Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:04 am

Една тема от форумите на imdb.com, нагледно показваща колко лошо нещо е крайния феминизъм, комбиниран с безкраен идиотизъм:

http://imdb.com/title/tt0211915/board/nest/11120349
Sure your parents might think you're a failure
But no one's ever said: "First, let's kill all the tailors"
Don't be a lawyer!

User avatar
JaimeLannister
Forsaken
Posts: 3103
Joined: Mon Apr 05, 2004 7:31 pm
Location: Лясковец - София

Post by JaimeLannister » Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:38 am

Леле...
Ми тя даже на Фройд фантазията не е стигнала толкова далеч....
Баси чудото...
"Основната и крайна цел на живота е смъртта и той винаги я постига." Зигмунд Фройд

"PRESENT IS THE TIME INCLUDING ALL TIMES
EACH SECOND IS ETERNITY AS ETERNITY IS NOW
AND NOW IS FOREVER..."

Курвите идват и си отиват, Star craft остава!

Image

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest