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Виц (in English)

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:35 pm
by kalein
...че нещо много grumpy old man взех да звуча. ;)

A panda goes into a restaurant and orders a burger and chips.
When he's finished, he gets out a gun and starts shooting holes in the ceiling and walls. Then he gets up and calmly walks out. The waiter rushes out after him and shouts, "What the hell do you think you were doing? You could have killed someone!" The panda replies, "Sorry, but I couldn't help it. Pandas always do that!"
"What do you mean, "Pandas always do that."?
The panda takes out a dictionary and opens it to the entry for panda. "Look", he says, reading from dictionary, "Panda. Large black and white bear. Eats shoots and leaves."

Специален поздрав за Бобсъна! :)

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:40 pm
by Trip
Егаси, същия го четох вчера :mrgreen: В една книжка за писането на Легуин, като пример за ефекта от пунктуацията

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:58 pm
by Amikae
Хахаха :lol: Хубав виц! :)

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 4:28 pm
by Morwen
Мда, доста гениално, бих казала специален поздрав и за Моридин...

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 6:38 pm
by Xellos
Хм, Али разправяше некъф подобен род виц с австралиец. Нещо с liver, cheese и прочее, ма не го помна добре :roll:

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:39 pm
by kalein
An Aussie went to the States.

Some niggaz got him in a corner. One said, "Dude ... did you come here to die?"

The Aussie said, "No, mates. I came here yesterday..."

...С което ви се усмихвам и се оттеглям за известно време, да си търся покоя. Който държи да намери мене - знае къде.

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:44 pm
by Бобсън
Пандовия Виц бива, пък специално К. искам да питам що не ми харесва вица с Австралиеца?

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 9:15 pm
by Xellos
Мдаа и тва е вариант :)
A Mexican, a black, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says "whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me". So the white guy says "I love liver and cheese." she says "that's not good enough." The black says "I hate liver and cheese", and she says "that's not creative", and then the Mexican says "liver alone cheese mine."

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:05 pm
by passer-by
Айде и лека немска отсянка за цвят.

Двама германци в английски бар искат да пият мартини. Единият поръчва:

- Two Martini, please!

Барманът пита:

- Dry?

Германецът уточнява:

- Nein, zwei!

Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 10:33 pm
by Xellos
Индиец казва - 'I'm home and the phone greens and I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'