ShadowDance

Jonathan (after being informed by some random space-time bending Jojo character): "What else can you expect from uncultured barbarians that refuse the wise governance of Her Majesty and throw perfectly decent tea into the ocean? What? It's practiced in the UK too? But... Why???"

Joseph: "Ugh, that's retarded. I'm glad we didn't have it when I was young. The next thing you'll say is "It's awesome! You can buy a real cheap flat screen TV on that day". Well, fuck your real cheap flat screen TV! My Hermit Purple doesn't want to work with it."

Jotaro: "This won't metastasize to Japan like the fuckin' St. Valentine's day, will it? Yare yare daze. And my wife wonders why I don't want to come home to USA anymore."

Josuke 1: "The fuck is that? I ain't standing in line for hours in front of a shit hole like Walmart or Best Buy. EVER. They don't sell the clothes and shoes I like anyway. Wait a minute! I gotta check if the places that sell my clothes and shoes have Black Friday sales..."

Giorno: "I'm the capo di tutti capi in a country that is considered by many to be the cradle of the Western civilization. Explain why I should give a shit about Black Friday while you kneel before me and kiss my ring."

Jolyne: (reading the newspaper) ""Florida man who camped in front of a Best Buy in a self-made "command center" for 33 days before Black Friday finally lost it, ate a man's face and beat a quadriplegic with a fish while trying to get to the cheap flat screen TVs."
Fucking Florida and its fucking Florida men. And its fucking Florida prisons."

Johnny: "Thanks for the heads up. I'll see what can be done to prevent this shit from being a thing in my universe. I have this wish fulfilling magical corpse at my disposal. It might come in handy."

Josuke 2: "What? Never heard of Black Friday. Can you eat it?"

Bonus:
Sandman: (browsing Wikipedia after some random space-time bending Jojo character made it possible) ""Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving...".
Thanksgiving? What is Thanksgiving... Ah, there.
"The event that Americans commonly call the "First Thanksgiving" was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in 1621.[3] This feast lasted three days, and — as accounted by attendee Edward Winslow[4] — it was attended by 90 Native Americans and 53 Pilgrims.[5]".
SERIOUSLY??? My ancestors should have wiped these assholes out instead of breaking bread with them! Well, at least they don't celebrate the existence of that genocidal prick Columbus. Wait a minute... They DO celebrate Columbus Day... Fuckin' immigrants, destroying everything this country stood for!"