Небрежен спамец (part 4)

Мне, не е това, което си мислите... за архиви иде реч

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Elayne
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Post by Elayne » Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:51 pm

Пускано е преди месец или нещо такова, от Даниел, трябва да го има в по-задните 3-4 страници на темата... Яко е :)
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Amos Trask
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Anime has arrived in Iraq, otaku will follow.

Post by Amos Trask » Sun Mar 05, 2006 2:13 pm

След САЩ дойде ред и на анимето да завладее Ирак. Поздравяваме всички заинтересувани. :lol:
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Xellos
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Post by Xellos » Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:26 pm

Как се действа при извънредна ситуация в зоопарк

Зоологическата градина в Токио проведе редовната си годишна тренировка за извънредни ситуации. Тази година по сценарий служителите на зоопарка трябваше да се справят с избягали от клетките си горила и отровна кобра.

Един от чиновниците се беше маскирал като горила, а кобрата беше изкусно изработена змия-играчка. Работниците от зоопарка първо обградиха псевдогорилата, после я насочиха към един ъгъл и я обездвижиха, използвайки мрежи. След това животното беше упоено, вдигнато и отнесено в клетката си. Служителите умело се справиха и с уж избягалата кобра, която отново беше поставена в клетката си.
Последният случай на избягало в зоопарка животно е от 1977-ма година. Тогава един от слоновете е успял да се измъкне от загражденията. Инцидентът е приключил без сериозни последици.
Мдам, как ли са го приспали :)
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Morwen
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Post by Morwen » Fri Mar 10, 2006 7:54 am

Хм, след цяла нощ будуване и принудително ровене в какви ли не организации, открих, че хората се сдружават и на доста странни принципи. В България има следните ужасно обществено полезни организации:
Семейна федерация за световен мир и обединение, Федерация на къртачите, Кооперативен съюз за социален прогрес, Национален съюз за сухо строителство, Асоциация на собствениците на частни товарни вагони, Сдружение на българските енигматици, Сдружение паркетолог, Сдружение за изследване на фините енергии в природата и човека... :shock:
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zhivik
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Post by zhivik » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:20 pm

Днес случайно се натъкнах на следната покъртителна история:
"Горещата" Джена Джеймсън се защитава от фанатици

Джена Джеймсън, обитаваща мокрите сънища на стотици милиони мъже, е на път да загуби част от бизнеса си. Религиозни фанатици се опитват да я изгонят от града заедно със заведението й Babe's Cabaret в Скотсдейл, Аризона.

В официално писмо до кмета на града порнокралицата твърди, че е станала цел на “болна” група от хора, които са използвали свое лоби в градската управа да наложат нов закон, забраняващ съществуването на нейния екзотичен нощен клуб за “неприлични танци”.

Кралицата на “забавленията за възрастни” твърди, че бизнесът в града се развива мирно и тихо в продължение на 20 години и е нелепо подобни закони да бъдат толерирани през 21-и век.

“Еротичните танци са обявени като форма на артистично изразяване от стотици съдилища в тази страна, както и дори от самия Върховен съд на САЩ”, жалва се Джена и смята да се бори за правата си докрай.
Искам да изразя своя протест срещу опитите на някои индивиди да лишат нас, мъжката част от човечеството, от това така драго ни създание. Смятам да се присъединя към съответната подписка (сигурна има такава) за защита на екзотичния нощен клуб на милата Джена, и да защитя правото и на артистично изразяване :)
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Moridin
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Post by Moridin » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:27 pm

Ха! Тръгнали с институциите да се борят некви мормони. Айде бре. ДЖЕНА ДЖЕНА ДЖЕНА!
This is it. Ground zero.

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Xellos
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Post by Xellos » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:35 pm

Да бе, тая си е грозна отсекаде погледната ;р. Да дойде да отвори тука клуб нема да има грижи ;)
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Morwen
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Post by Morwen » Sat Mar 11, 2006 1:15 am

Ако искате да (не) се извините на някой, но не знаете как...
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Post by Xellos » Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:39 pm

Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Additional Chuck Norris Facts

* Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

* Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

* Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

* Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.


* Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

* Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

* Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

* The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.


* Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

* Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.


* Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

* The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

* Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

* Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

* Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

* Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

* Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

* Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

* If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

* The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

* Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

* Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

* Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

* Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

* As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
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herairness
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Post by herairness » Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:52 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Bat Garo Still Rots
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Post by Bat Garo Still Rots » Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:15 pm

Chuck Norris is my hero 8-) 8-)
Имаше един филм с едно дете инвалид, в който активно се възпитаваше култа към личността Чък Норис!
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Post by Demandred » Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:28 pm

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Kултово. 8-)
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Alexis
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Post by Alexis » Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:51 pm

* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Това ми е несъмненият фаворит. Жална им майка на донорите (на тестиси :mrgreen:).
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Обичам си аватара!!

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Xellos
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Post by Xellos » Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:59 pm

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

:D :twisted: :mrgreen:
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Elayne
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Post by Elayne » Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:58 am

I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around

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